Okay, hear me out. I know this title is wild. But the playful title belies what is actually a very good book. Split or Swallow by Lindsay Straube is a supremely smutty romantasy, featuring a prince, a farm girl, and a basilisk. The smut didn’t come as a surprise, but everything else about this book kept me guessing and intrigued.
Tem is the village pariah, constantly the butt of the joke, and she’s sick of it. Her only chance at a way out, and a better life for her hardworking mother, is the competition for Prince Leo’s hand in marriage. Every girl in the village who is the same age as the prince is required to participate in this pageant-esque process. But before they begin, first the girls must be trained.
Years ago, there was a war between humans and basilisks in the kingdom. With some crafty solutions, the humans won and forced the basilisks to live underneath them as second-class citizens and servants. Part of the terms of the arrangement was that the basilisks, naturally sexual and experts in the art of seduction, would train the potential future brides of the princes of the realm in the art of sex.
On her first day of training in the basilisk caves, Tem discovers that her trainer is Caspen, the Serpent King, and he’s never had a student who wasn’t chosen as a finalist. Under Caspen’s tutelage, Tem comes alive. As she pursues Prince Leo, and the promise of a better life, her connection with her teacher grows, but so does her bond with the prince. Soon, she is caught between two different worlds, and uncovering secrets about herself and her kingdom that will change everything.
This book is unapologetically sexual and blends smut, magic, and intense love connections in a way that is undoubtedly a fun time. It is certainly not a slow burn. It’s also unclear for a majority of the book whether this is going to end up being a love triangle or a why choose book, and I won’t spoil that for you. I don’t normally love the love triangle angle, but this one is handled differently in a magical world which makes it work.
One of my only issues with Spilt or Swallow is that it was written from a single point-of-view from Tem’s perspective. I think with this specific story, it would have been wonderful for the reader to be able to see inside Caspen and Leo’s heads a little bit more.
Split or Swallow is indie-published, which makes it all the more impressive. I was so pleasantly surprised by this book. It exceeded all my expectations for a super smutty romantasy.
Writing: 3.5
Spice: 4.5
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