The Nora Theory

Most men on Bravo suck pretty badly, at least at some point during their tenure. It’s hard to be a good person a hundred percent of the time, but the men on Bravo seem to have a talent for taking things to a whole new level of terrible behavior.

Anyone named Tom (Sandoval, Schwartz, D’Agostino, Girardi, Ravenel) has a truly despicable record. Seriously, the streak of terrible Toms is just comical. Then there’s Lenny Hochstein, Michael Darby, Shep Rose, and Juan Dixon. And these are just the ones that immediately come to mind. The list never ends. It’s significantly harder to find men on Bravo who don’t suck.

They do exist, though. There are a handful of men on Bravo who don’t suck and some that are truly gifts to all of us. This is a celebration of those rare gems.

Disclaimer: these men do not currently publicly suck at the time of publication. These opinions do not stand in perpetuity. If one of them pulls a Tom tomorrow, don’t come for me.

Captain Jason Chambers

This man truly earned the top spot on this list. Captain Jason is the yacht captain on Below Deck: Down Under and in season two, he confronted a truly awful situation in which one member of the crew was attempting to get into bed with another sleeping crew member whilst fully naked.

Captain Jason immediately stepped in, fired the guy, and fired the woman who was incessantly and obnoxiously standing up for the would-be assaulter. The way he handled this issue, and every other issue that arose on board the yacht last season was incredible. He consistently is respectful to his crew, stands up for them, and is smoking hot as a fun little bonus. He is an angel, and we love him.

Craig Conover

Look, this is going to be a controversial pick. I accept that. The men of Southern Charm set the bar dramatically low, so it’s easy for Craig to rise to the top and become the number one guy in the group. But while Craig is consistently surrounded by dimwitted assholes, in all his years on TV, he has never sunk to their level. He does not habitually cheat, he often takes the side of the women in the group, and has grown into a voice of reason on the show.

Does he have some wild conspiracy theories? Sure, but no one is perfect and a decade on television would probably have us all revealing some goofy things about ourselves. Craig is consistently a great partner to Paige, a good friend to the group, and always seems to be able to fight fair when things go to shit on the show.

Kyle Cook

The longtime leader of the Summer House crew is a Peter Pan of the highest order. This man is over 40 years old, and parties like he’s 21 all summer long. Kyle may not be an absolute gem of a man, but he knows how to own his shit and apologize for his mistakes.

At last season’s reunion, his conversation resolving the conflict with his longtime bestie Carl was peak emotional intelligence. I think outside of his time on television, he’s a successful dude and a good husband, and he just likes to let go, have 18 thousand beers and snacks in the kitchen on vacation, and honestly, who can blame him? You go, Kyle.

Ken Todd

“I can’t believe Tom Sandoval had Raquel over while Ariana was away. In the jacuzzi!” That’s all. He doesn’t suck because he brought us all Scandoval. Ken is a messy bitch who lives for drama and we love that in a grandpa.

Jason Cameron

Jason is not a major Bravo star. He was a bit of a side character on Summer House and made subsequent appearances on its spin-off, Winter House. Although his camera time has been relatively brief, he’s been an absolute sweetheart while on the air.

He is calm, cool, and collected. He doesn’t buy into the major drama. He’s just kind of out here living his life, skiing or having a great summer. Which is probably why he doesn’t get a ton of air time. But hey, at least he’s not sucking on purpose for the cameras.

Alex Propson

Alex is kind of a mess. He makes out with anyone who expresses interest. He’s overly flirtatious. On his first night on Below Deck: Sailing Yacht, he got so drunk that he tried to put his water bottle down on the captain’s face. While Alex may be a player and a messy drunk, he’s always honest with the women he’s pursuing. He doesn’t pull shady underhanded shit to try to get the girl.

This guy is just stumbling through life, looking great, and making out. It’s not his fault that the girls seem to flock to him. Alex handles it in the best way he can, with total honesty. It’s not his fault that women sometimes don’t take his desire for casual hookups only at face value. Being a player doesn’t automatically make you suck, as long as you go about it with honesty and integrity. Alex might suck like just a little bit, but he’s adorable enough to make up for it.

Andy Cohen

The man who brought this whole universe to us Bravoholics could never suck. He is messy, he asks the hard hitting questions, and he works hard to make sure we have all the reality TV entertainment our hearts desire.

Also, if you watch him on New Year’s Eve, this man is hilarious. Two tequila shots and this man is giggling like a maniac on live television and/or ranting passionately about something completely random. He’s the devil on Anderson Cooper’s shoulder and I can’t get enough.

Honorable Mention: Mauricio Umansky

Mauricio would have been a shoo-in for this list a few months ago, but the jury seems out on that one at the moment. Did he cheat on Kyle? To be determined. Until what is going on in that marriage is revealed, I can’t say with certainty that he doesn’t suck.

However, 27 years of marriage in the spotlight is a pretty good sign that Mauricio at least mostly doesn’t suck. He seems to be a great father, a mostly solid husband, and has generally been a positive presence on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Mauricio always brings the fun. For that, he snags an honorable mention spot. When the secrets that are being kept about this marriage come to light, I reserve the right to retract this opinion.