The Nora Theory

Summer House is coming back to our screens on February 22, and we’ve all been patiently waiting to find out what happened to cause two seemingly obsessed with each other people to break up right before their wedding.

Going into season eight, it’s easy to assume that Carl is going to be the villain of the season for breaking Lindsay’s heart, but I’m just not sure that theory is going to hold. Here’s what I think is coming for us on Summer House season eight.

Carl and Lindsay

When news of this breakup broke in late August, people started calling it the next Scandoval, but I don’t think this breakup is going to be that simple. What we know so far is that Carl called off the engagement only two months before their scheduled destination wedding in Mexico. Lindsay was blindsided. There were rumors of another woman. No one could quite figure out why these two, known for calling each other “babe” repeatedly and ardently defending their love to their cast mates, would call the whole thing off.

These two always seemed to me like they were trying too hard to love each other. There was no natural chemistry. It seemed like they decided they made sense together and just tried to force it to be so. As the season airs, I’m officially guessing we’re all going to see that Carl made the right decision and saved them both from a very messy and expensive first divorce.

Danielle

I predict that Danielle is going to get her shit back together this season. Season seven was a tough one for her. When she hysterically sobbed about not being included in Carl and Lindsay’s engagement, we all suffered an acute case of secondhand embarrassment. Her stint on Winter House wasn’t much better.

This season is going to be all about Carl and Lindsay, and seeing as Danielle is so close to both of them, this is going to be her chance to redeem herself, and she is going to take it. She’s going to be the voice of reason, she’s going to be a good friend to Lindsay, and she’s going to do it all after consuming an absolutely unimaginable amount of alcohol.

Amanda and Kyle

Kyle is going to be the life of the party, he’s going to rock some crazy looks that make his wife roll her eyes, and he’s going to drunkenly eat snacks like a hungry panda after everyone else has passed out for the night. He will also definitely have strong opinions about the breakup of the season. This guy has pretty much played the same role all eight seasons, but why mess with what works?

Amanda doesn’t want to be in the Hamptons. She does this for her husband, whom she loves, but really in her soul, she wants to be at home in bed with her dogs. Which I fully feel. She’s going to stay on the outskirts of the group, doing just enough that the producers don’t get mad at her.

The Rest of the Girls

We all know what Paige has in store for us this season. She will remain the peanut gallery, ensconced in bed, listening to the drama from afar. She’s going to keep Craig on ice, he’s going to keep trying to take their relationship to the next level. I love Paige, don’t get me wrong, but the last couple of seasons without Hannah, she’s been a very predictable piece of the puzzle.

Ciara, Mya, and Gabby have the potential to be the thing that really makes this season work. If the cast is all focused on Lindsay and Carl and then simply doing the same thing they’ve done every other summer, this season is going to be exactly like the last one. It’s going to get boring.

Last season, Gabby really added a special presence to the cast and brought it to life. These three ladies have the power to make or break this season. If they can get our attention off of Lindsay and Carl and onto them, onto their relationships or drama or literally anything else, it will be perfection. I think they can pull it off, they’ve always brought it before.

Newbies

I don’t have a great feeling about this year’s newbies on the cast, West Wilson and Jesse Solomon. The cast obviously needed some new guys for balance, but based on their pictures and descriptions, it’s giving “blah”. I have been surprised by newbies before, though, so hopefully these guys can bring the cast some new dynamics and some storylines that aren’t all about Lindsay and Carl, because those two simply cannot carry the entire season.